Seven Stars 2nd March 2007

Bin a long time since we rock n rolled (cue Led Zep gags) since we here. A pretty good turn out, including plenty of family & friends. Special thanks to Colin & friends, who are in serious danger of becoming regulars at Broken Biskits gigs these days. Don’t do it folks! Once again, the bar staff were looking especially lovely, including the one with the beard. A few new tunes got an airing here, some of which were better received than others, but hey, you live & learn. Look forward to going back again and rockin the the good people of Harwood.

Old Market Tavern 6th January 2007

Wagon & Horses 20th January 2007

So then, we’re well into 2007, and all that happy crap that was Christmas & New Year seems like a life time ago. Now you’re left with nothing to look forward to other than 2 weeks in a caravan in Rhyl, and that’s not until September. And it’ll rain. Guaranteed.

But fear not, gentle reader, because Broken Biskits are here to sooth your furrowed brow with rock n roll. We’ll help you forget about all those red credit card bills that you’ve been hiding behind the clock on the mantle piece & make you smile as you hide behind the sofa when the bailiff’s come knocking. The bastards.

Two gigs to report back on from the start of the year. First of all we headed back to the Old Market Tavern, where Jimmy & the gang made us all very welcome again. Not like the old days when Bob Carolgees was there at all, thank fuck! A grand time was had by all, and a fair crowd turned out to see us, but due to the lack of space, there wasn’t much dancing taking place. Still, at least we could watch people wandering too and from the toilets! We’re back there again on 17^th March – isn’t that St Patrick’s day??? As good an excuse as any to dig out those Corr’s records & get hammered on Guinness (as if you needed one).

Then came our first visit to the Wagon & Horses in Newhey. Now, we were somewhat sceptical about this one, as every time we’ve played in this part of the world, the turn out & response has been a bit iffy. However, we needn’t have worried, because landlord Ian has a fine selection of discerning punters who turned out to support us. There was dancing & singing right from the off, so we knew we’d be in for a good night. Special mention to the ladies who were up there all night (see pics), the guys who wanted to (and succeeded in) showing Paul W their tattoo’s in the bogs, and to the guy who’s name we can’t remember (but we think it might have been Colin) who brought his family to see us, after watching us at the Woolpack in Radcliffe. Top man! He even made sure he was wearing a different t-shirt to Paul R this time around…

By a strange twist of fate, we’ve only got one more gig (Seven Stars, Harwood on 2^nd March) before we’re back at the Wagon again on 10^th March. We’re taking a break during February, while Andy B & his missus get set to welcome the latest addition to the Biskit family in to the world. All bets are now off as to whether it’ll come out with a pony tail, holding a pint in one hand & a guitar in the other! We reckon it’ll be a big un though. Good luck, Debs!

See y’all soon.

Three Pigeons 16th December 2006

Ighten Leigh SC 24th December 2006

The Printers Arms 31st December 2006

Hands up, who’s glad to see the back of Christmas? How did you go on for presents? Monogrammed handkerchiefs (not necessarily your initials)? Check. Novelty socks (Mr Men, Simpsons, World’s Best Dad)? Yup. Shite aftershave (direct from the nearest market stall)? You betcha! An X-Box that your other half won’t allow you to play with? Only if you’re Broken Biskit’s singer… (sorry mate).

Three gigs over the festive season to report back on. First up was our second visit in as many months to the Three Pigeons on Wigan Road. They obviously like us here, as it was a busy night again, with everyone well up for a good time. A few free beers thrown in by the landlord helped to get us in the mood, and we had a blast watching all the dancers! Local ‘celebrity’ Paul R was on fine form as he soaked up the adoration / abuse from his army of drunken acquaintances.

Next up was Christmas Eve at Ighten Leigh Social Club. As usual, this one didn’t disappoint, and there was no shortage of Christmas cheer as everyone was brim full of the Christmas spirit (gin, amongst other things). It was an afternoon kick off, and it soon became clear that there were one or two punters who had decided to stuff the last minute shopping, and had been on it since before lunch. Always a high point at ILSC is the ability for us to play AND watch television at the same time, due to the fantastically positioned telly’s. The past couple of times, it’s been the footy, but being Christmas Eve, this time around it was some dodgy old film involving 100’s of charioteers rolling off a cliff top like lemmings. Kind of like a thinking man’s Ben Hurr. Magic. This was followed by a film with lots of nuns (rubbish), after which we were treated to some cruddy choir, who, fortunately, we couldn’t hear as the sound was turned off.

So, turkey & mince pies safely disposed of, it was off to The Printers, in Blackburn for our New Years’ Eve party. Somehow this one had turned into a ticket only do, but despite that and the atrocious weather, there was a fair old turnout to help us rock into the New Year. Steve’s missus was in fine form, having swigged half a bottle of Polish vodka on the way down! We played 3 sets, with a break after the second one to ring in the new year, so as anyone who’s ever looked at a clock in a pub will know, meant it came 5 minutes early. Never the less, there was much celebrating, with shaking of hands (amongst other things) and the opportunity for us to grab a quick kiss from as many ladies as possible. With all that out of the way, things began to liven up for the last set, with plenty of people up singing & dancing their way into 2007. All this and a buffet. What more could you ask for?

A couple more gigs lined up for January, including the Waggon & Horses in Newhey on the 20^th. We’ve still to have a top gig in Oldham, so come on down and give us some support. God knows, we need it… Rock on.

The Griffin 28th October 2006

Three Pigeons 4th November 2006

The Woolpack 11th November 2006

Hi-de-hi campers! Welcome to another rock n roll holiday, complete with knobbly knees contest (winner: Andy B) and glamorous granny competition (winner: Steve). Would the person who left a floater in the Olympic sized swimming pool please clean it up. Yes, it’s time for another letter from Joe Maplin, to bring you up to date with all things Biskit shaped, and we’ve got three (count’em) gigs to report back on.

First stop, The Griffin in Newton le Willows. We don’t get spoiled like this very often – massive in house PA, sound engineer, carpet… the list was, literally, endless. Top place The Griffin, don’t know why it’s taken us so long to get back again. These folk wanted rock, so we didn’t disappoint, throwing in plenty of classics, along with the first airing of ‘Never Again’, specially for the occasion. Hats off to the old geezer who strolled in and sat directly under the speakers. Must have been stone deaf. Plenty of dancing from the ladies (nice one – see pics), and a great reception from all concerned means that we’ll be back as soon as possible in 2007. Sooner than that for some of us, as Andy C’s been working in the building next door all week!

Next up, the Three Pigeons at Hunger Hill (who thought these names up – Benny Hill?). Fuck me, what a turn out for this one! There was a fireworks display before the gig, and the local Gypo’s had kindly taken time out from driving their big, uninsured American cars & tarmacing pensioners’ drives, to set up a highly dangerous fun fair on the car park. The upshot was that there were well over 500 people there – by far the biggest crowd we’ve ever entertained. This was Paul R’s local, so he was the centre of attention, and much piss taking ensued at his expense throughout the night. Just call him ‘Reggie’ from now on, he loves it. The place was so packed that there was hardly any space for dancing, but the ladies found some space by joining the band on stage, so everyone was happy. In fact, space was so tight that Andy C thought about using the pool table as a drum riser at one point! Another new one for the set, as ‘My Generation’ got its first run out. Paul W had a cold, so wasn’t firing on all cylinders, and had almost lost his voice as a result, but prescription drugs, adrenaline & looking at womens’ tits helped him through it.

And finally, the gig that brings us the headline:

BROKEN BISKITS MAKE ME SICK!

Yes, our visit to the Woolly in Radcliffe,to help celebrate landlady Cheryl’s birthday, had an alarming effect on at least one punter. Having previously consumed superhuman quantities of industrial strength imported booze, and sitting right at the front, to make sure he got the best sound absorbtion, our man promptly fell asleep to the amusement of all concerned. Swiftly waking from his impromptu power nap, he then projectile vomited all over himself & the floor. Man, there was gallons of it. Always with an eye for detail, Paul R noticed that it was an unhealthy shade of pink. Seasoned musicians that we are, we never missed a beat. Much hilarity then ensued, as Cheryl poured 5 litres of chemicals over the reconstituted beer, donned the Marigolds, and got down on her hands and knees to clean it all up (see pics). Mind you, this at least provided the band with an interesting view down the front of Cheryl’s top! All to a backing track of rock n roll. What a way to celebrate your birthday…

Despite it being a quiet night (due to the shite weather and power cuts), almost everyone there had made the trip especially to see Biskits. Good to see some familiar faces, as well as a few new ones. Cheers folks!

A couple of weeks off for us now, while Paul R goes t’Egypt to trade his missus in for a camel. Hopefully, we’ll have some more dates to add to the calendar before Chrimbo, so don’t forget to check regularly for updates.

See you on 16th December at the Three Pigeons, Hunger Hill.

Old Market Tavern 7th October 2006

Well, well, well. Who’d a thunk it? Broken Biskits making a return to the scene of one of the crimes of the century – The Old Market Tavern! We were as surprised as you, gentle reader, let me assure you. However, sceptical as we may have been, we decided to give it another go – especially after hearing that new management was in place. For those of you who weren’t around last time we played the OMT, let me bring you up to speed…

Once upon a time, there was a band from Bolton who went to play some jolly tunes at a far away hostelry. A good time was had by all – the cash registers behind the bar were ringing their little hearts out all night long, as pissed up punters danced the night away in a haze of guest beers and rock n roll frivolity. All was well in Biskit land. But what’s this? Waiting in the wings was the landlady – The Ghost of Bob Carolgees, who, along with the Phantom of Spit The Dog, was waiting to put the fucking kaibosh on events in a big way. Despite the big crock o gold, brim full with takings behind the bar, Bob didn’t want the nice Biskit boys back again, so despite much protestation from all concerned, we left under a cloud, vowing never to return. But it transpires that cloud has a silver lining after all, because Bob & Spit have since pissed off with the takings, leaving the OMT with some decent people in charge. So they all lived happily ever after. The end.

We’d heard good things about the OMT since its refit, and we weren’t disappointed. There was a bunch of bikers tinkering with their tappets outside when we arrived (always a good sign), and Andy C spotted that they’d put some carpet down in the band area since our last visit (eat your heart out Lawrence Llewellyn-Bowen). A quick sound check was enough to let us know that we were in for a good night, so by the time we kicked off, we were well up for it. We’d reworked the set especially for the occasion, and even decided to throw in a couple of new ones (Chillies & Guns ‘n’ Roses), just to keep us on our toes! The place filled up nicely as the evening wore on and the beer went down, and by the end of the night, we just wanted to keep on playing! A great reaction from the crowd ensured that we’ll be back as soon as possible. The Ghost of Bob Carolgees has been laid to rest at last… watch out for us at the OMT again in 2007.

28^th October sees Biskits make a long overdue return to The Griffin in Newton-le-Willows. God knows why it’s taken us so long to get back here, because it’s one of our favourite places to play & the big in house PA ensures that you, yes, you, dear punter, don’t miss a single note of Andy B & Barnstoneworth’s blistering guitar solo’s. Look forward to seeing you there!

Beechtree WMC 2nd September 2006

The Woolpack 9th September 2006

My God, feels like ages since we were all here doesn’t it? Remember all that lovely hot sunny weather? No, neither do I. Back to the same old same old now eh? Bah…

Any road up, what have we been up to since last we met? Well, during our summer break, we had lots of exciting adventures. Paul W went on the slab to have a bionic arm fitted – too much wanking had worn the old one out, but now he’s able to do it twice as fast for twice as long. Andy B cleared off to Canada, and craftily managed to get three people on the plane for the price of two! Why not call round to his place one night and ask to see his holiday pics? He’d be pleased to see you. Paul R’s recently been on pilgrimage to Amsterdam, so remember to keep your distance at gigs so that he doesn’t transmit any of those nasty diseases he’s incubating to you. Also, we managed to get some recording done – look out for the Broken Biskits CD, available for all you drunken punters to purchase at gigs shortly. Hand over your hard earned cash and join us in the heady world of copyright infringement & law suits…

Back on the road, we played our first wedding gig, over in Burnley on 2^nd September. No sign of a booking for the divorce party yet, so things must be going OK! Star of the night was the ‘DJ’ who, even though his equipment packed up, unintentionally managed to keep everyone entertained with his singing and dancing antics. Landlord, we’d like a pint of what he was drinking please!

9^th September saw us back at The Woolpack in Radcliffe. Becoming something of a second home this one. In fact, there’s at least one Biskit who’d like to make it his home on a permanent basis… We were well pleased to see that plenty of people had turned out especially to see the band. Cheers folks! As is the norm at this place, lots of dancing and drunkenness, including some spectacular dirty dancing from a couple of people. Patrick Swayzee must be shitting himself… Even Andy C’s Mum was up there at one point, fair play to her. The night was going so well that they didn’t want to let us go – we almost reached the point where we ran out of songs to play, and ended up delving in to the archives to resurrect a few old favourites, including Breakin’ The Law. Don’t know why that one disappeared of the radar, ‘cos it’s great. It’ll be back in there in future. We rounded off the night with Highway Star – always a Biskit favourite and everyone went home happy. Back at the Wolly in November to help celebrate landlady Cheryl’s birthday (21 I think).

Amazingly, next up is an unexpected return to The Old Market Tavern in Altrincham on 7^th October. Long time Biskit fans will remember that this was the scene of the famous Bob Carolgees incident a couple of years back, where the ugly landlady made a mockery out of a top night. It would seem that she legged it with the takings one day (she’d have been fucking loaded if she’d done it after out last gig there, but that’s another story), so new management is in place, which means we’re happy to bring Biskits back to the good burghers of Alty. See you there.